Is your teen an emerging adult or Peter Pan? Where could your teen ‘step up’ a bit more?
Emerging adult implies they’re learning and growing into independence. The Peter Pan Syndrome is the opposite. They’re stuck in childhood and dependence.
I remember being 12 and thinking, “I don’t want to grow up.” I sensed the responsibilities and challenges of adulthood looming. Fortunately, the changes were gradual, and I grew into it.
Many families struggle with children who avoid responsibility. They can’t or won’t grow up. This is the ‘Peter Pan Syndrome’. Sorry to say that a great deal of this is on you and me, the parents. With all good intentions, we have stunted our children’s growth.
At birth, we’re responsible for their every need. As they grow, it’s important to give them more responsibility. Unfortunately, many parents are still controlling multiple aspects of their teen’s life.
At a time when children are seeking their identity and increasing independence, we may send the message that we don’t believe they can take care of themselves, or learn to do it. And if mom and dad are going to take care of everything, what incentive do they have to step up?
If we want them to grow up, we have to STEP BACK, LET GO, AND LET THEM GROW. It’s a gradual, necessary process.
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* Letting go isn’t easy. Message me to learn how to begin.